Why Zombies > Vampires

Since I'm a student at Hogwarts School For Nerds, Geeks & All Things Magical, I feel I should offer my views on one of the more important and serious historic conflicts: the never-ending vampire VS: zombie debate.

Vampires are dark, mysterious, seductive, evil, and emo-goth. They've got their fangs, they drink blood, and the girls love them. Literature and movies has spawned many famous vampire characters, such as Dracula, Caine, Lestat, Alucard, Selene, etc. The list goes on and on.

Zombies on the other hand, are usually dumb as dead wood, slow, clumsy, and they smell bad. They shamble around, they eat peoples brains, and by doing so they multiply faster than bunnies in heat. Famous zombies includes.... hmm... well, Stubbs the Zombie, I guess. .-.;

If I had to choose one of them, though, I'd pick zombies over vampires any day. Vampires are kind of like Superman, in a way. Overpowered, imbalanced, and just too "perfect". Especially that Edward Cullen guy. >_o If a vampire decides to target a human, the human is usually pretty much screwed. Not that vampires has to kill anyone after sucking their blood, they just use their jedi mind-powers to erase the memory from the victim's mind, which is why we have so few reports on vampire attacks these days.

Zombies on the other hand actually gives people a chance. Sure, they don't really play fair either, seeing as they always bring hundreds of their friends to hunt down just a couple of surviving humans, but at least they can be defeated. Especially if you happen to carry a fully loaded boomstick.

Zombies are also very honest with you, and never really tries to hide what they are - a bunch of walking, brain-eating corpses. Unlike vampires who tricks people into believing they are humans, and then - chomp! (...As if they didn't have enough powers already. o-o) Zombies don't discriminate against other species - zombie dogs are quite common, and there have been cases of zombie cows and rats as well. When did you last hear about a vampire cow? ...Yeah, thought so.

And more importantly, zombies aren't as angsty and mopey as vampires are, and they never cause drama. "Sob sob, I can live forever and I have super powers and shit, but now I'm in love with my food! SO SAD NOW!" *angst angst* Plus, if you're going to watch a movie about living dead people anyway, they might as well look the part, right? n_n ~♥


Picture unrelated.